so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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