you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
