it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
