What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
