Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
