This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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