I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
