I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
