So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
