it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
