I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
