I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
