I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
