take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wear drunk well.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
