problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
