hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize