he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
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I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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