there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
