she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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