Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
