I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
