Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
