do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
