I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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