remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
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everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
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Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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