i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
