Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
