kristin has been a bad kristin
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
