I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
its not stalking. its research.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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