Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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