Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
