my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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