Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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