He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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