Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
