I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
