The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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