I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
