He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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