I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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