I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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