So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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