i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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