I'm jealous of your bromance
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
