You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
