You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
