i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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