i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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