would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
