I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
