How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
