My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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