And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
