if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
