dude i'm inner monologue high
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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