my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
