if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
