so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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