Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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