ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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