We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
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you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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