Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
